Well, it’s been a while since I have managed this blog. I give full appreciation and recognition to my new apartment. Have you ever considered that the land attracts things? Things like bad vibes and dysfunction, or hard work and honest folk? Well, I have a potential theory that the land I was living on before may have played into my night terrors and nightmares. But then, let me pose you this question: after sometime of not experiencing sleep troubles such as before, why is it when I’m highly stressed and have too much contact with a specific individual a glimmer of what was returns? Maybe not just the land, maybe a little association too.
Last night I had a wretched dream. Not a night terror, but just a good old fashioned, terrifying nightmare. I was at a BBQ tonight and couldn’t touch the meat on the grill because my stomach had turned so much. But I admit I am sure the dream seemed so much worse because I hadn’t had a nightmare in so long. My dream was about the ever lovely, Mike Meyers. Yes, that’s right, Halloween’s main character. This is a little strange for me as I have never seen the films before. The dream started out with Mr. Meyers, we’ll call him Mike, with Mike in a house with another man who looked exactly like him- except this twin was not evil, he was a well adjusted, healthy, functional man. Flash scene over to myself and others bringing presents, streamers, and balloons over to this man’s apartment. It appears it is his birthday and many of us (as if family and friends) are coming over to celebrate. Long story short, there is a brutal killing of this man before we enter the apartment in which Mike decapitates his twin and shoves his head through the bottom of the birthday cake, he hides the body. When we enter there is lots of friendly hello’s, but Mike is pretty quiet. We are wondering if he is feeling okay, but whatevs- lets cut the cake. I’m standing beside him holding the plates and he takes a very sharp 12″ pastry knife and begins to cut the cake. It’s a perfect slice of icing on top, a little cake, and then horrifyingly I relaize there’s flesh in the inside of the cake. While I’m staring at it, someone takes it out my hand not seeing that there is flesh on the inside and they begin passing the cake around and eating. All I can do is stand there in shock and horror staring at Mike. At that moment it’s as if all of his memories, including the butcher of this man, starts flooding into my own mind. Then I just have very vague, sharp, quick memories of my dream of screaming, and me trying to fight this man off, hiding in the apartment while he butchers other people, and trying to escape. It was terrifying. I remember the sickening feeling in my stomach because of the cake bit, and waking up with horrible pains in my abdomen.
I’m trying to figure out though, were the pains in my stomach what brought on the nightmare?-as food has a funny way of leading dreams. Or did the pains in my stomach come from the dream as I’ve experienced my body sympathizing with the pain in dreams previously. It’s really an odd question for me. I don’t understand it, and quite frankly I’ve been living so comfortably without nightmares and night terrors, that I kind of wonder how much it really is worth exploring. I have been spending some time analyzing my mental health at this time in my life. Most recently I have come to terms with some things in my past, and although I do not care to disclose them, I want to be fair and consider that it could be a combination of many things.